love

I have never immersed myself in this feeling. If it was an island, I could have visited it but not stayed long to fully understand and know it's most precious essence. I am a nomad--hopping around, bouncing around with no guts to stay long at one place. Having not known that island much does not make me unintelligible about it though. I am not stone hearted, cold and indifferent. Maybe I have seen the other part of the island, the one that others have not been too. I must have come from another way.

Despite being cynical about love, in my heart, I still believe in it's beauty. I do not understand that feeling. All of the years that passed since I have been introduced to romantic love was full of complications and negativity (or maybe I was not strong enough). The good feelings were merely fleeting, like it has gone away before I could even grasp it. I have all this thoughts about love. That if you love someone, this is how you should act, what you should do. I know most of them are true but maybe some of them exist only in my fantasies or in my ideal world. Tangible proof is important for me and like some people I know, words are not enough.

Love saves, love heals, love empowers, love moves mountains. I KNOW. More than that, I also know that love hurts, love kills, love separates, love fades, love is confusing, love is overrated, love is most of the times unreal. I am rather negative. There are two sides of love and I am more inclined in the negative one. Maybe it has something to do with the way I think or maybe, I have yet to experience being happy in love for me to  think otherwise. When I see people that look happy and in love, it is a feeling that I can't seem to adequately comprehend. I for one have not yet been there, I think.

Still, I am hopeful. I feel pathetic when I think of this. I don't want to wallow up in my disappointments. I don't feel any strong frustration anyway. Its not like I am desperate or totally desolate. Maybe it's just about the right balance of cynicism, belief and hope. I don't want to preoccupy myself in waiting anymore. haha. Waiting of all sorts, not just on the most obvious one.

When I was in first year highschool, my bestfriend and I had a misunderstanding. At that time, she was the type of person who ignores you and sets you aside when she is upset. Well, we became better with the lyrics of the song "I'd rather". I printed out the song lyrics and I brought it to school. We became ok. Up to now, that song has managed to sneak its way to my mind and no matter how I find it overrated at times, I cannot deny the fact that the song brought me more wisdom and standard. Reading between the lines, I found a simple definition of love there.

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that

--staying together hurts as much as being apart, but then,--

I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

--Time would usually help you realize what love is and when you do, maybe you'll tell yourself,--

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart

--I find it really sensible how the truest form of love would choose hardships with the person rather than not having and not being with the person at all--

With the frail and imperfect make-up of people, naturally, words are too easy to say. Maybe it takes more than a man to act out the many words that envelope our life.. to bring life to it outside the confines of thought and stereotypical cowardliness. 

Until then, I will visit the love island again and hope to be happy. I know that everyone, despite being scarred and broken too many times, have not yet totally, as in absolutely, given up.

images from www.weheartit.com :)

crazy little thing called love

Last May 2011, a friend suggested this movie. We were supposed to watch it inside the beach cottage that night before sleeping but our need for sleep turned out to be stronger. The movie slipped my mind as I was not that enchanted by it during the first scenes. Months passed and I see this movie plastered over the internet with good reviews and it even got featured in abs cbn twice (back by popular demand). I tried catching it on air, with the Filipino sub but failed :(

I was so intrigued with the reviews and comments about this film so I decided to download it and see for myself, what the fuss is about.

well, I ended up watching it alone, beside my unknowing and computer addict brother. I expected to be moved and that expectation did not let loose, scene by scene. I laughed, I cried, I said "awww" and most importantly, a heart string was tugged out of place. I remembered feelings that seemed to be buried deep within my subconscious and I reminisced moments back then, when I was this youngster, giddy with the feeling of "kilig" and dreaming of someone who seemed to make my heart flutter out of my rib cage :)

True to the comments all over the world, this film is indeed SOMETHING. Simple as the plot may be, you won't know the beauty of it until you watch it. As you see the film, another movie can be rolling in your head--a movie where the main character was you. Get ready to have a foolish smile hanging down your face, as if you're in some kind of daze. haha :)

This movie lightened up my afternoon. I cooked Carbonara after watching and I know, even before I sleep tonight, the movie's after effect will still fill my head :)

learn from this

A: Saan mo gusto, sa Mcdo o Jollibee

B: Mcdo. bakit dun kakain?

A: yup, kakain. Jollibee na.

B: bakit mo pa ako tinanong?

A: Para may consent ka.

B: Nagtanong ka pa.

A: Oo naman. kala ko kasi magandang magtanong kahit pano.

B: maganda nga naman talaga. Pero para mo lang akong pinagmukang tanga.
humingi ka, di mo naman gagamitin. nagtanong ka, di mo naman susundin. sana di nalang ako sumagot. sa huli, balewala rin lang naman kahit anong sabihin ko.

A: kala ko kelangan magtanong, di pala.


x_x

secret garden.

I strived to finish this drama because of the good reviews.

I did not regret having painstakingly download each episode and convert them to dvd format.

some scenes are impossible but like some presents, it is the thought that counts.

SECRET GARDEN :)

“Where on earth is a woman who’ll jump at the chance to happily and beautifully cultivate a love that’ll just turn to bubbles? Nowhere in the world is there a woman who will start a love, with an ending. That’s why we’ll never work. We have no answer.”

------

“The thing about women is, the most common of women can become a queen, and the most rarefied woman can become a maid – according to how she is treated by the person she loves.”

-----

“Do you like decorating trees? I hate it – I hate making a ruckus on anyone’s birthday but my own. But… I thought that you would like it. You only like things that I hate.”

-----

“Being unable to eat and sleep is the basic thing. Waking up in the middle of the night will become a daily routine. Because the one you love has turned into someone else, you also can’t whine to each other for the fear of being scolded by that person. So, you cry by yourself. But what hurts the most is that person doesn’t actually miss me like the way I do. It’s like that person has forgotten about me and is simply being happy alone. All you want to do is die, but you can’t die either… because you’re scared that you won’t see that person again.”

------

“I hope you’ll see the things I see. You’ll stand at the window where I stand, and lie down in the bed where I lie down, and read the books I read. If we could be together, even in that way… then that’s enough. Let’s think of it as being together. That’s enough for us to consider ourselves as happy as other lovers.”

-----

"I thought I was letting him win all the time because I was the older brother. But, how much older and how much of an adult would you have to be--- to die for someone else?"

credits to http://asiandramaquotes.wordpress.com

intangible.

"i realized every girl wants to be courted at least"

should you sue me for plagiarism if I don't put your name after that quote?

I just want to say that people should weigh if they can stand up to what they say before actually saying them.

maybe, your a man of random thought and together with your randomness, what you say passes on with the moment.

the moment has passed and so too have your words.

is it fun?how you make people believe in a momentary truth? and is it even better if they believe and continue to believe even after the words have gone?

does it make you feel strong?
does that make you feel better?
does it make you feel like a man?

your words are like bubbles--wonderful only until they pop into nothingness.

intangible scars.