Merry Christmas!:)

Once again, the most festive season is here.  I mean, who isn't aware of Christmas? I know everybody who has joy in their hearts feel more alive once Christmas draws to a near. :)

Personally, I get thrilled more during the pre-holiday period. The Christmas anticipation, the Christmas songs playing early and aloud in open spaces, Christmas shopping, Christmas planning and just the whole process of the time before Christmas really is celebrated :) I get a little bit sad as that period of anticipation comes to a close and now, its so near. quite a bummer!

Though the world is in a not so good economic state right now, and our Christmas tree has less gifts this time, Christmas is really not all about material manifestations. While the gifts and all those merry tinsel and treats make it more fun, nothing can replace feeling the real Christmas in our hearts. I mean, that is what drives us all to go make an effort and create different festivities in the honor of the celebrated occasion, right? :)

I am grateful this Christmas and it means nothing more to me than love and family. As I try my best to make this Christmas better through gifts and personal effort, I know it wouldn't mean as much as the people I am celebrating it with - The people I am celebrating the birth of our Saviour with :)

Christmas at the warmth of your own home with the people you love the most :)

I LOVE YOU FAMILY :)

Let us all bask in Christmas Joy and let us not forget that without Christ, this occasion would be non existent at all :) Christ and FAmily is Christmas. Its all about our hearts, the rest are just ancillaries, additionals to what matters the most :)

current Christmas song favorite: Rockin' Around the Christmas tree

rejoice in Christ's Birth, He saved us all :) 

Dear Lord, Thank you for everything!

HEY!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU!!! :)

LOVE,

On screen romance :)

watching movies & following TV series sometimes leave you feeling smitten from the on-screen romance that you witness :)

for a mere hour or more, you live in a fantasy world where you feel how love makes it all go round :)

here are some of my most cherished on-screen couples. I am in awe of their story and the intensity of the love that they let the viewers feel :)

BLAIR & CHUCK

Gossip Girl

-

No matter how they keep themselves away from themselves, they still end up being and wanting to be with each other. They may quarrel and fight to the ends but their love outshines their capability to deny each other.

It's like despite the "no's", "no mores" and "goodbyes", their hearts never really kept the distance. Their eyes speak the truth behind their every emotional lie. :)

magnets, they are ;)

DAMON & ELENA

Vampire Diaries

-

Yes, Elena and Stefan love each other but that is so yesterday! Damon and Elena are way better together. Though Damon came off as the villain at first, you'd wind up falling for his effortlessly cool and angel-in-disguise personality :)

Unrequited love eh?

Damon loves Elena so much, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, he can't deny it.

He was always there even if she has her heart set on someone else.

EDWARD-BELLA-JACOB

Twilight Saga

-

Though Edward and Bella are destined together, Jacob loved her equally before he imprinted on little Renesmee :)

The thought of how these guys loved Bella to the bits of bits drives the green eyed monster out of me :)

oh love.

could you be as perfect as that on screen? :)

haha.

insecurity.

now playing: Hot Stuff by Davichi.

This upbeat song made me realize that I was drowning myself in insecurity and impatience earlier tonight.

Insecurity makes me fight for no apparent reason and it makes me defend myself when I don't need defending at all.
Insecurity makes me say sorry and retract even if I know I should not be sorry.
Insecurity unlocks my sarcasm and unleashes it wide open.
Insecurity eats out my confidence like I didn't know confidence existed at all.
Insecurity crumbles out my heart until I finally let myself rot in buckets of negativity.
Insecurity makes me push people away.
Insecurity makes lowering myself habitual and it makes me forget that I am a person with capabilities.

I realized that all again tonight as I chose to put on my headphones, go to youtube and close my ears to the gossip and things  I did not want to hear.
I was escaping and in that escape, an upbeat song turned the tables almost instantly. made me ask myself, 'why not confidence'? :)

I was easily pissed at my students tonight for not getting the lesson easily. I was silently pissed at how I have to say the same thing in different ways over and over again. I know my impatience resounded in my tone of voice as it rose higher and higher. thankfully, it still obliged to my control.
I almost screamed at my mom.
I almost fought with someone again.

regaining a positive note made me vent it out in this post even if I am pressured as hell to study right now.

sheesh. the amount of pressure I put on myself to do something I am not doing right now mounds on and I am seriously worrying and hating myself right now.

If I could just spit myself out, I would.
but since that could not happen, I am grateful.
I know I would regret that in the end.

Just a round of a few more upbeat songs and I will be fine :)
Lord please have mercy and fill my brain with wisdom.  Let me have those agile and efficient braincells again to ace this exam.

I never worry about exams. I just give in to the pressure.

some wisdom :)

feel free & spread your arms wide open. feel the wind on your face and bask in God's love :)

this is true. Pushing on, moving forward gives you a sense of well-being :)

an important reminder, too hard to follow but not even near impossible. :)

choose to be happy. We may always need reminding. Yes we do.

Its a never ending reminder that one should never forget :)

be strong :)

that is an order.  A loving order :)

define yourself.

Find your way FROM being lost.

even if you're alone at it.

even if all your friends go in the different direction

what's for them isn't always for you

&

what's for you isn't always for them too.

be pushed by your problems TO try harder

in getting your goals and dreams.

Problems are not meant to wear you down.

as an ulterior motive, they are meant to catapult you UP :)

& that nothing at all would matter without the people you love and the people who love you. Nothing would matter more than your God given family :)

(Lee family Christmas 2009)

we would all be non existent if God did not make it all possible :)

He is everything :)

images from weheartit.com

LOVE,

happy birthday Paola! :) 11/09/11

I turned 22 last November 09, 2011 and since I don't fancy the age increase, I do fancy the festivity even though I did not have much drive to plan my birthday celebration. The day was special though (it always is, i mean duh!). Greetings, as I have noticed tend to get fewer from when you were still in school nonetheless, a lot of people remembered my day anyway and for that, I am super and beyond grateful. Thanks for the love :)

so here is how it went. Let us have a picture story :)

an early birthday gift from dear Tita Mila :)

Birthday Lunch courtesy of Mama. see how the newspapers prevented us from spillage. Greenwich delivery was at its worst this time. Coke spilled, lasagna has super dry pasta and fries sauce dripped all the way down to the fries.

Lunch shared with Rijel, Dean and Baron. I'm the only girl.haha :)

Dean, busy with something.haha :)

----------

well, after that, I took some birthday bath (?) and we went off with plans of going to a spa(did not happen) and having food trip.

Originally, we were supposed to try this Thai Restaurant near Botanical Garden but sadly, it was no longer OPEN or was it just that we cannot see it? invisible? ;p

so then our adventure went to

BLISS CAFE @ HOTEL ELIZABETH.

Following pictures @ Bliss Cafe Baguio, Hotel Elizabeth :)

Fine dining vegetarian restaurant. 

the Cafe is located inside Hotel Elizabeth.

When we went in, we were welcomed by the charming atmosphere and the owner, Mr. Jim Ward who was very nice and warm :)

Inside you'll be surrounded by a collection of Asian inspired books, decor, ornaments and peaceful music. Truly a wonder to the senses. Rijel even said that he feels that he went out of Baguio. like an 'out-of-Baguio experience' haha :)

this is powerful :)

the wall of wonder on our right ;)

Rijel  goofing around.

finally, the FOOD!

Vegetarian gastronomy

winners: fruit shake and crepe!!

(forgive me for not being able to recall the exact names)

yummy salad with vinaigrette dressing :)

the best milky apple shake (well it tasted milky for us) :)

Veggie carbonara with cheese toast on the side

sumptuous and really cheesy 

cheese panini/sandwich (forgot the real name)

insatiable crepe! delight in every mouthful! :)

writing about our experience at Bliss and finally getting the bill. Kinda hefty but worth it. Rijel found it in his heart to leave a tip, something I never saw him do yet until this time. haha ;p

Happy Birthday to me.

off to SM to buy wine and have another birthday meal (w/c I was supposed to co-prepare) at home :)

incense. that little Chinese Tradition :)

rushed but still nifty birthday dinner prepared for me with LOVE :)

thank you Family. I love you :)

cheesy lasagna :)

my cake. the perfect blueberry cheesecake! :)

----

indeed a healthy birthday. I may not have gone out with my friends like I usually do but I had so much fun and I am grateful for my family and Rijel, Dean and Baron who spent this day with me :)
of course to God who blessed this day!
thankful for another year of existence!

for all those who called, messaged, tweeted and facebooked greetings, thanks, you made it all complete :)

As for the gifts, they're only for me to enjoy.haha ;p

love!

Thanksgiving :)

I live in the Philippines and though our country has been colonized be westerners long before, Thanksgiving is not as celebrated here. I know thanksgiving is one of the biggest holidays in the US and eversince I came into consciousness about it, most especially now, I am in so much awe that I am writing about it.

A time to be thankful for life and everything in it :) such a wonderful reason to be festive and be considered as a holiday! :)

Filipinos, being religious as most are, are thankful everyday for what they have. They may not be as vocal about it but I know in the million prayers sent to heaven every second, almost all of them contains a note or more of gratitude for big things and small ones alike:)

Thanksgiving this year was bigger for me-- the holiday I mean.
My boss asked me "are you going to have off this thanksgiving?" and I thought hard "what thanksgiving?" and then I realized. I heard more and more thanksgiving notes from friends and family in the US and I don't know if it is just me but I think the holiday is slowly inching it's way here in dear PI! :)

I appreciate small notes of what people are thankful about from huge ones to things I have absolutely no knowledge of. It is just a wonder how people pause, reflect and celebrate the people and things that made life a lot more meaningful for them. Who are we anyway without the things we are most grateful of? :)

As for me, the list could go on if I will write it all down. I am amazed to think that I have a lot to be thankful of despite constantly feeling that I have less and lacked a lot compared to others, heck I even felt so empty for a long time. (though I know I could whip up a lot to be thankful about even if I was clanging empty). Life gives you the irony that has long been present. It is not that our minds just trick us but maybe it is so exaggerated at times how we think that we have nothing when in fact we already have a lot. Fallacious as it may seem or close to the truth as it maybe, people do not get contented because the superficial and the new always gets to us. It is during those times that we are reminded, that we begin analyzing deeply what we have in our lives. Most of us are still incomplete, always wanting something more, something new, something changed and it will never stop. It is just a matter of pausing in between those moments and remembering the good things and how for a fraction of time, they made us almost reach cloud 9 :)

I feel lost and incomplete now. consistently confused, disappointed and frustrated. It is like I cannot get a move on with my life because of not knowing what I want and what to do with my future. Still, I am thankful I am alive and I get to spend more time with the people that I love. Heck, I know that in the end of it all, they will be the one who will matter the most anyway. I also need to fight for my future though. I need to make my parents proud. I need to redeem myself to myself and I need to trust more on God's plans :) CAirus!! (?)

finally, I am thankful for LIFE. for everything in it most specially God who created and gave everything. To my most beloved family. Mama, Papa, Paul. Relatives who have been so good and generous.Tita Elsie, Tita Mila, Tito Romeo and the rest. To special people and special friends who made me love and appreciate myself more than I could ask for, who were there when I needed someone to crash on and be myself more with. To friends from ups and downs. To laughter, love, food and sharing. For the sun and the wind and nature. for healing and better days. For Spencer who brought my love for dogs when I hated them so much. For technology and good samaritans. For mentors who guide without letting you down. For second and nth chances. for pillows and beds, for clothes and communication, for special moments and unforgettable ones. For medicines, cures, discoveries and music. For english, chinese, tagalog, words and sentences. For loyalty and faith. for strength and guidance. for spontaneity. for water, for creativity and color. for sight, feelings and senses. for things that I could have out of impulse. For things I know are too expensive but I have them anyway. for koreanovelas and movies that chase our hearts out ribcages and for children who embody purity, love and God's kingdom of pure joy and bliss, for being here at this moment right now where I have all my loved ones with me. Long life and good health for them, protection too.

Cheers to finding answers and having a better future for me and for my loved ones and for all people around the world. Cheers to positivity and negativity combined.
for everything in between and for everything unmentioned, lessons learned and stronger people.. A MILLION THANKS! :)

RED SATURDAYS

who doesn't love the color RED? and who doesn't love SATURDAYS?

if you love red and you absolutely love Saturdays, you will also love RED SATURDAYS.

RED SATURDAYS coming very very soon :)

love

I have never immersed myself in this feeling. If it was an island, I could have visited it but not stayed long to fully understand and know it's most precious essence. I am a nomad--hopping around, bouncing around with no guts to stay long at one place. Having not known that island much does not make me unintelligible about it though. I am not stone hearted, cold and indifferent. Maybe I have seen the other part of the island, the one that others have not been too. I must have come from another way.

Despite being cynical about love, in my heart, I still believe in it's beauty. I do not understand that feeling. All of the years that passed since I have been introduced to romantic love was full of complications and negativity (or maybe I was not strong enough). The good feelings were merely fleeting, like it has gone away before I could even grasp it. I have all this thoughts about love. That if you love someone, this is how you should act, what you should do. I know most of them are true but maybe some of them exist only in my fantasies or in my ideal world. Tangible proof is important for me and like some people I know, words are not enough.

Love saves, love heals, love empowers, love moves mountains. I KNOW. More than that, I also know that love hurts, love kills, love separates, love fades, love is confusing, love is overrated, love is most of the times unreal. I am rather negative. There are two sides of love and I am more inclined in the negative one. Maybe it has something to do with the way I think or maybe, I have yet to experience being happy in love for me to  think otherwise. When I see people that look happy and in love, it is a feeling that I can't seem to adequately comprehend. I for one have not yet been there, I think.

Still, I am hopeful. I feel pathetic when I think of this. I don't want to wallow up in my disappointments. I don't feel any strong frustration anyway. Its not like I am desperate or totally desolate. Maybe it's just about the right balance of cynicism, belief and hope. I don't want to preoccupy myself in waiting anymore. haha. Waiting of all sorts, not just on the most obvious one.

When I was in first year highschool, my bestfriend and I had a misunderstanding. At that time, she was the type of person who ignores you and sets you aside when she is upset. Well, we became better with the lyrics of the song "I'd rather". I printed out the song lyrics and I brought it to school. We became ok. Up to now, that song has managed to sneak its way to my mind and no matter how I find it overrated at times, I cannot deny the fact that the song brought me more wisdom and standard. Reading between the lines, I found a simple definition of love there.

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that

--staying together hurts as much as being apart, but then,--

I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

--Time would usually help you realize what love is and when you do, maybe you'll tell yourself,--

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart

--I find it really sensible how the truest form of love would choose hardships with the person rather than not having and not being with the person at all--

With the frail and imperfect make-up of people, naturally, words are too easy to say. Maybe it takes more than a man to act out the many words that envelope our life.. to bring life to it outside the confines of thought and stereotypical cowardliness. 

Until then, I will visit the love island again and hope to be happy. I know that everyone, despite being scarred and broken too many times, have not yet totally, as in absolutely, given up.

images from www.weheartit.com :)

secret garden.

I strived to finish this drama because of the good reviews.

I did not regret having painstakingly download each episode and convert them to dvd format.

some scenes are impossible but like some presents, it is the thought that counts.

SECRET GARDEN :)

“Where on earth is a woman who’ll jump at the chance to happily and beautifully cultivate a love that’ll just turn to bubbles? Nowhere in the world is there a woman who will start a love, with an ending. That’s why we’ll never work. We have no answer.”

------

“The thing about women is, the most common of women can become a queen, and the most rarefied woman can become a maid – according to how she is treated by the person she loves.”

-----

“Do you like decorating trees? I hate it – I hate making a ruckus on anyone’s birthday but my own. But… I thought that you would like it. You only like things that I hate.”

-----

“Being unable to eat and sleep is the basic thing. Waking up in the middle of the night will become a daily routine. Because the one you love has turned into someone else, you also can’t whine to each other for the fear of being scolded by that person. So, you cry by yourself. But what hurts the most is that person doesn’t actually miss me like the way I do. It’s like that person has forgotten about me and is simply being happy alone. All you want to do is die, but you can’t die either… because you’re scared that you won’t see that person again.”

------

“I hope you’ll see the things I see. You’ll stand at the window where I stand, and lie down in the bed where I lie down, and read the books I read. If we could be together, even in that way… then that’s enough. Let’s think of it as being together. That’s enough for us to consider ourselves as happy as other lovers.”

-----

"I thought I was letting him win all the time because I was the older brother. But, how much older and how much of an adult would you have to be--- to die for someone else?"

credits to http://asiandramaquotes.wordpress.com

rant.

i am somehow saddened by the negative things some people say about "my princess".
not insulting-negative.

those stuff like people losing interest as the story goes on and that the ratings are not too high and the story is getting flatter at the end.

the drama has been one of a kind for me. It has deeper meanings than what most would get.
I like it. I got addicted to it and I know a lot of people did too.
made my heart happy. made me smile.

despite the negatives that I read, there are still a lot of dedicated people out there. I have read their blogs and like we have the same minds, "my princess" was a hit in our lives.
and we want more.
more than that, we want their onscreen romance to be real.
they are so good.

totally crazy fan over here.
currently obsessing over Song Seung Heun as Park Hae Young.

wishing for more. :)

going nuts over him

Park Hae Young

(Song Seung Heon)

I get so totally giddy over you.haha

You made me jump a lot and smile a lot at 6 in the morning even when I did not even have any sleep.

kilig lang tlaga :)

over :)

you make my heart skip a beat.haha :)

Park Hae Young, an intelligent, rough but soft on the inside bachelor.

you got the goods!:)

together,
you make my stomach produce butterflies and wash me over with a light feeling

of love. hahahah

giddy!