Everyday conversation

Things I could've said but then there is this thing called space that kept me from doing so.
a

Baby

have you eaten?
ano food mo?
anong ginagawa mo?

I went out today. Few meters away pagkalabas ko ng gate bigla ko naalala na wala ako dalang payong. I thought of going back but I hesitated so instead I just went my way. I was planning to go to the church. take note, i curled my hair and I liked the way it looked. halfway to my destination, it started drizzling but then I was still positive.ambon lang yan. I was praying though na sana hindi na lumakas yung ulan. to my dismay, the rain poured sooooo hard so I had no choice but to go straight to SM. Tinawagan ko si mama kasi maybdala siyang payong. nagpasundo ako sa bbaan ng jeep sa sm. Nakisilong ako sa big umbrella stand ng nagtitinda ng fishball. may katabi akong guy dun dumating na yung kasama niang may payong pero ayaw nia pa pumunta humiram pa sia ng panyo pamunas. that guy was taking so much space. pareho lng kming nkikisilong pero ung tubig tumutulo na sa may harap ko like 0.5 cm away from my face pero thank God dumating na si mama. maliit lang yung payong. super lakas parin ng ulan. basa ung likod namin. haha. worse is basa ung feet ko kasi nakasandals lang ako and you know namna na I hate getting my feet wet.  All throughout pero I was laughing. si mama bumili ng bagobg shirt mas nabasa kasi likod nia sakin. As for my curls, haha, nawala naging straight agad yung buhok ko. That time naisip ko yung preaching na happiness despite some difficulties. :)

ang haba ng pagkadescribe ko.pero yun. hahaha. Drenched.

usually at this point the conversation would go depending on your reply. Until I come up with something new to say like ...

pinalitan ko n ngay ng pink n gel guard ung sa note. parang nagsawa kasi ako sa black. pero mas gusto ko parin ung sleek design nung black. gusto ko lng palitan. haha

and then I would also tell you ....

Nagtext uli ung *. wait forward ko sayo ung text. ang weird lang kasi. para akong nadadamay ng wala nmn akong kasalanan. parang there is something fishy going on. nakakaewan lang.

and then I usually voice out my qualms such as....

yung kasama namin. you know Im trying my best na hindi mairita. trying not to have bad tjoughts and silent swear words in my head pero kasi sa case nia ngai sometimes eh I just can't help it. Siguro lang I still have to reach a higher point of understanding pero I just hate the way how she thinks and acts like she is all knowing when in fact you will just roll your eyes at the stupidities and mistakes. Im sorry God. haaay. You know. she has the guts to call other people as illiterate when she does not even know what the shape oblong looks like  Alam mo yun. She was asked to get the big oblong plate from the dish container and she took like 20 seconds to look. First she got the round one. When she was told it was wrong she got a round bowl and when she was told wrong again she finally said 'ano ba ate yung oblong di ko alam kasi'......*insert all the reactions here*

haha. and then in my head I picture you replying 'ano ba yan bobetz' with a Z. hah


just few of the things I couldve told you if I was feeling ok with myself already.

countless times during the day I thought of you.
It couldve been easier to just talk to you but then I still had this thing I feel I had to do myself.

I felt like part of why its so hard for me to move forward is because we were happy each time we saw each other and apart from the other things in my life, its the only thing I look forward to.

you know with this sort of empty days Im having, its really making me crazy having nothingproductive to look forward to aside from leisure, going out and the like.